Resistance: How does it show up in your life?
I usually feel a lot of resistance come forward right before I’m about to commit to OR attend a retreat, a wellness weekend or even a transformational journey I've decided that I need to take for myself. I’ve learned that this resistance is incredibly common. It’s so normal to have the following thoughts pop up when we’re about to click “Purchase,” or book that plane ticket.
“It’s too expensive.”
“I don’t have time.”
“I can’t leave my family right now.”
“There’s too much travel.”
“I don’t know exactly what it’ll be like, so I probably shouldn’t go...”
Isn’t it interesting how we have so many limiting stories come up when we’re considering doing something amazing for ourselves? It’s usually so much easier to do something for a loved one. We probably wouldn’t think twice about encouraging a friend to attend an event that seems totally aligned with what she needs. Yet we rarely give ourselves the same encouragement.
My process looks like this… I’m called to attend a retreat, usually because I need to reset and refocus. I know that to do this I need to get out of the day-to-day and gain perspective. So I start looking for a place where I can do that (usually some kind of retreat or journey with friends.) When I find that place, my stories start to come up. “I don’t have the money, time, permission…” And so on.
To push past these stories, I become clear on my intention about why I want to go to the retreat. I ask…
“How will this experience serve me?”
“Why do I need this?”
“Am I willing to spend this much on my evolution?”
“What are my needs worth?”
“Do I really need to unplug and grow?”
“Do I really need to be inspired and meet new people?”
“Do I really need more depth and wellness in my life?”
More often than not, these questions help me hone in on my intention for saying YES to the experience my Soul is seeking.
But many times, I still have buyer’s remorse after spending all that money, and have to return to my intentions to fortify my commitment. I actually have to return to those intentions many times between buying my ticket and showing up at the retreat. I have to consciously remind myself why I’m going. I have to realign with my WHY over and over again. I then make myself follow through, and I’ve never regretted that. Not once.
If you’re navigating the process of deciding if you should attend a wellness retreat or workshop, here are some steps I often take to find my answer:
- I ask and answer the questions outlined above. For example, how will the event serve me?
- I give myself space around making a decision. My grandmother used to tell me, “There’s nothing you can’t sleep on.” So I gift myself 24 hours to sit with those questions and answers, and see what shows up.
- Ask for clarity about the retreat I should go to, and my intentions around it. Before I go to bed, I ask the Divine to send me signs through my dreams about whether I should commit to an experience, and why. I request that the signs be sent in a way I’ll notice and remember.
- As these messages often come through dreams, I write them down when I wake up BEFORE MY FEET HIT THE FLOOR. Sometimes, I connect with the Divine during a morning meditation. I ask the question, then take five minutes to get quiet and pay attention to the answers that come through.
- Don’t let my mind get in the way of the eventual decision. Shaman Durek recently said to me, “Let it go, and let it flow.” I remind myself of this when I feel like I’m spiraling into panic and doubt. Once I make a decision I have to trust myself– let it go and let it flow. I trust that it will all work out. I trust that the experience will likely be so such more amazing that I could have imagined.
- When I freak about the money aspect, I remind myself that at the end of the day the money is going somewhere, at some point. Why not direct it to an area that’s sure to improve my life? No one lies on their deathbed, thinking, “Wow, I really should have spent less time and money on my personal growth and more time working and feeling disconnected to myself."
- Whole-heartedly commit to my decision. When the experience is booked, I make a promise to myself that I will not back out. This promise doesn’t mean resistance won’t come up, but when I’m equipped with my intentions, and those messages from the Divine, I can move through the blocks.
- Pay attention to the fears and concerns that come up as I near an experience. Without a doubt, the negative mind will emerge as the timing gets closer. For example, I cringe over my perception of money. I question my worthiness. I worry if my husband will honor my journey or hold resentment towards me for my need for self-care.
But instead of letting these thoughts freak me out, I write them down. I take them as signs of what I’ll get to work through during the retreat. I record them in a journal that I bring to the event, and am usually blown away by how I receive the exact wisdom and guidance needed to move through my issues.
- Do whatever I need to do to get myself on that plane, or in the car. Before I leave for a retreat, I try to take care of the pressing health, work or familial commitments. This clears the space for me to be fully present at the retreat, and clears away distractions and excuses. I also remember that everything will not get done before I leave, and that’s okay. Few of my to-dos are more important than taking time to nurture my needs.
- I allow myself get excited and receive this opportunity to take care of myself and evolve! Even if I’m nervous about an experience, I invite the joy to live in harmony with the nerves or doubts. I also, remind myself that no matter how much my monkey mind is screaming at me to cancel, I will feel so much worse if I don’t show up. I take my resistance as a sign that I’m in the exact place I need to be. I also tell myself the following:
“I really hear you. This feels so scary. But we’re going to go. It was so clear when we made the decision that we’re ready to transform. That’s not going to happen by staying in the same place and doing the same thing. We’re willing to foster our evolution. We’re going.”
Then feel the empowerment move through me, and I trust the ride.
I find the cycle of inspiration-fear-excitement-resistance-commitment that I spin through as I book, then prepare for, an experience to be fascinating. While it can be uncomfortable at times, I’m so curious about all the fears, messages, and synchronicities that emerge as I commit to something that is sure to push me and transform me. For me, the more that comes up, the more certain I am that I have to go.
If you’re inspired to take a leap of faith into a transformational experience, consider our Attune wellness event that is happening in LESS THAN FOUR WEEKS! Attune is a four-day gathering in the utopia of Serenbe outside of Atlanta, Georgia that will support guests in optimizing health from the inside-out through inspirational speakers, interactive workshops and human connection immersed in Nature. If you are feeling the call and need a reset with time to immerse and grow, join us! We hope to dive into the adventure with you very soon!
with love + humility,
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